Choose to walk light. Exploring truth and deception
“During times of Universal Deceit, telling the Truth becomes a revolutionary act.” George Orwell
The central thesis of my life has been a passionate inquiry/quest into truth. At the core, to understand what truth is for me, and in the larger frame, to understand and integrate the Universal Truths — true in all cases.
I use capital T for Universal Truths, as they are the operating code of Universe, and small t for my own truth, to distinguish between the two.
The finer distinctions between Truth and truth is a complex subject worthy of a whole book.
Universal Truth
An example of a Universal Truth is the principle of synergy. No examination of the parts, when considered separately, will determine the whole. We must start with the whole first. Or, 1 plus 1 plus 1 might equal 10 or 100. Buckminster Fuller committed to naming what he called the Generalised Principles of Universe — true in all cases, of which synergy was one. Gravity is another one. None of us can argue with gravity.
truth (small t)
A truth for me might be an action or belief I take or have today that is right for me today. It may not be right for me tomorrow, or last week. Today it is my truth.
Self deception and living our truth
The key distinction here is that when I take action around my truth there will be no residue for me on any level. I call this an absolute yes! Let’s further explore this truth through a principle I use and teach;
‘How to say NO: Have it be an absolute Yes!’
To say an absolute Yes to something or someone is not an experience to be taken lightly. When I say a Yes, I need to be sure that every part of my body, mind, spirit, soul is aligned.
When it is an absolute yes there is not one corner, or cell, or mote of dust within me that says no. If there is even a shadow, the faintest whisper, tiniest inkling of a no, then the answer for now, is a no.
When we do say YES from this place of alignment, it becomes a transmission. People get the power of our Yes (or no). Everything lines up, is coherent, resonant and syntonic. Mountains move.
Why do we say yes when we mean no? (Or no when we mean yes?)
Saying yes to something when we mean no might be motivated by the following.
*The ego aspect of our self really wants this. If I say yes to this I am going to… impress my friends… impress the person I am saying yes to…be seen as good…be seen as being a nice person…be seen as being smart, or savvy….the list goes on and on.
*Or it could be for a short term gain… If I say yes it may mean that I am not going to be lonely anymore. I may say yes to getting married, or having a relationship, because I am so terrified of being alone, or not loved.
*I may say yes because I want to avoid the repercussions of saying no. The potential anger and upset. Knowing that I am just delaying the inevitable.
*I may say yes because I want to be seen as a team player. I don’t want to be the one who rocks the boat, or causes dissent.
*I may say yes because I am lazy, having no energy or interest in saying no.
*I may say yes because it’s the easiest way out.
*I may say yes because everyone else is saying yes and I don’t want to be the odd person out.
*I may say yes because there is perceived time pressure. Often this is a ploy and not real. Sales ploys are full of time pressures. Buy now to receive 25% off. Just another form of temptation to take you away from the truth of the yes or no.
Whatever our reason, most of us find ourselves saying yes to things when we know, somewhere deep inside, that our truth is a no.
When a collective says yes, without anyone saying no, the effects can be catastrophic.This is the principle behind collusion.
Collusion occurs when well-meaning and often very smart people all agree to something, simply because everyone else has and no one dares to speak to the negative. We can then find ourselves, in our group mind, agreeing to little atrocities. People die and companies fail when we stay in collective silence. For an excellent book on this, one of my most favourite of all books on leadership, see The Abilene Paradox and Other Meditations on Management by Jerry Harvey.
An Absolute Yes requires rigorous commitment to our own truth. It means we are committed to making ethical decisions, to speak to and consider all sides before a decision is taken. It demands we dare to care more about the other, or the project, than we do about ourselves. If we cannot get past ourselves and our ego we will not find the strength, or courage to speak up.
An Absolute Yes requires knowing yourself very well. Know the games we play, our little excuses and stories we tell ourselves, our justifications. To know when we are tempted to sell ourselves for less or sabotage our truth.
We need to really know that part of us that will allow someone to cast a spell over our souls and blind us with glamour and temptation. The part of us that is so yearning to be loved, liked, admired and respected that we say yes….when inside screams no.
We all have our seducers. They come in various shapes and sizes, from the well-spoken man offering gifts and glamor, to the beautiful woman with the dreamy eyes saying rescue me, rescue me… to the plate of delicious food, or the fabulous pair of shoes, or the email inbox, or that work that offers money, fame and fortune while swallowing whole our very soul…
Saying no to anything unless it is an absolute yes requires we step past all of these temptations and seductions. This is why it is a discipline and practice, requiring rigour and commitment as a moment by moment act.
An absolute yes resonates with every part of our being. There is no place for any doubt, no remaining uncertainty. We may not know what will happen next, and we may be terrified, but we know that we have said yes to what is required and we are aligned to that.
Saying an absolute yes means that we accept that we are fully responsible. We cannot blame another for our choice.
When you have not yet reached the place of absolute yes, then it doesn’t mean that the answer will be no forever. It does mean that for now it is a no. You may require extra pieces of information, another perspective, more insight.
Take the time to gather the information, to sit in inquiry, to create space and time for reflection. These are essential ingredients for the complexities of decision making.
There are few things as power infusing as an absolute yes.
The complexities of perspective and worldviews of another’s truth
Someone responding from an egocentric stage of development might for example hold a truth that it is totally OK to kill innocent people to get their way. Or someone who holds a fundamentalist view that if you do not adopt their faith then hell is the only destination. Similarly a paranoid schizophrenic has no ability to determine truth. It is because of these distinctions that the subject of truth with a small t becomes so complex. As Syntropic steward leaders we need to develop the ability to hold all of these individual perspectives of truth simultaneously, working to create a bridge to a view and response closer to Universal Truth that for example holds all life as valuable.
Deception and Self Deception
The etymology of the word deception is from “Middle English deceiven, from Old French deceveir, from Vulgar Latin *dēcipēre, from Latin dēcipere, to ensnare, deceive : dē-, de- + capere, to seize;”
To deceive involves deliberate misrepresentation of the truth.
To betray implies treachery.
To mislead means to lead in the wrong direction or into the error of thought or action.
In my work with conscious truthful communication we deal with the overt situations, the obvious, observable events AND we look at the subtle, micro, energetic events.
Deception at the overt level is pretty easy to observe. It is at the micro-level that things become tricky and must be explored with great care. Deception lies hidden, like a sleeping monster, able to rot relationship with insidious energetic poison over time.
Examples of self deception: I may have an interior conversation about how I am going to take an action. I will do “X”. Many of us have had these interior conversations and made promises around doing “X” for years, even decades.
X = lose weight, get fit, eat better food, drink less, end a bad relationship, stop spending money, take the course, play more…..
When X is part of our ongoing interior conversation and we DO NOTHING about it, then we are in self-deception. Or, even worse, when we do something about it that is not a true commitment — allowing ourselves to believe we are really taking action — this is just another ploy we are playing out to deceive ourselves.
On the overt level, this kind of self-deception is not easily observed. There may be signs like heart disease from poor self care, general long term unhappiness, failure to keep promises and commitments to others consistently or continually living in victim mode. But only you really know if you have been deceiving yourself. Many people do not have the courage to admit that they have.
For example, if we say to ourselves and others that we really want a long term committed relationship, and yet we keep a half dozen mild entanglements with other people fed and watered (even if we are feeding them scraps very sporadically), then we are in both self-deception and deception to others. We are deceiving ourselves by not acting with complete integrity around what we say and what we do, and we are deceiving the others by keeping them fed and watered, even on scraps, that there is any possibility of a relationship with them no matter how remote and distant that might be.
At the most subtle level, deception deals with energy. If my energy is aligned and clean, this means that what I THINK, what I FEEL, what I EMOTE and what I SENSE is what I say and do. Total congruence in my conscious communication to self and others.
We have all been deceived and we have all deceived ourselves and others.
We know what it feels to deceive. At the overt level, you lie to someone, blatantly.
On the covert level, lying is also done by omission. Withholding, not speaking. We will do is come up with a thousand and one very valid reasons why it is good to lie to the other, or to withhold. However, at the energetic level, we are now carrying an energetic toxic charge, a psychological free radical.
We are no longer free. Our energy is muddy and becomes heavier, and the clarity of our perception and insight is diffused. Life flow will slow down. Synchronicity will fail us. Our vitality will be dimmed, even to a small degree. Multiply this one little transgression of withholding or lying by 10 and we get lead in our boots. Everything in our life becomes harder.
The more conscious and self aware we are the harder it gets to carry self-deception and the more the energy stasis compounds. Nothing seems to work well.
Conscious awareness of our truth or untruth brings clarity and lightness of being. The higher your conscious self-awareness the faster the effects of any form or level of deception will register in you.
When others deceive us, very often some part of our subconsciousness knows. The energy is not clean and unclean energy registers in our psyche somewhere. We may not have the conscious awareness of what it is, we may not have the language, but it will have registered.
Even at the extreme micro-level — the level of atoms and cells — deception registers. Imagine it like a form of pollution. The body/mind/soul may be able to cope with a very small amount, but over time the toxicity multiplies like a cancer. It is nasty nasty stuff and pollutes and destroys homes, businesses, nations.
Recall when you were a child. You knew when your parents or guardians said no to you and meant MAYBE? Just as you knew when they said no to you and meant NO! We can register this distinction from a very early age.
While we never lose this ability to pick up clean and crooked energy signals — clean being aligned and congruent, crooked being any form of untruth even on the micro-level — often as adults we do not pay attention to these subtle signals because we have been trained to be rational beings. Energetic signals and intuition have little physical tangible evidence and therefore do not fit our world of the rational linear brain.
The reason we do not really look at the truth in our world is that, in the words of Jack Nicholson from the movie, “A Few Good Men”, “You can’t handle the truth!” And the simple fact is that most of us indeed cannot handle it. We would rather go into denial, or pretend otherwise. We want our lives to stay safe and the same.
The fear of all that will unravel when we really take a deep breath and look at the truth is so overwhelming that most of us just don’t do it.
This denial can last for years and years. It remains with us, like a nasty shadow, following us around from day to day, keeping us from being fully alive and aligned. It makes us old before our time, it robs us of our vitality, it sludges our energy.
The truth will indeed set you free… it is the only thing that ever will. Extreme truth takes courage and always starts with you. It is the road less travelled and the path least taken for the simple reason that it is hard on the human level, and incredibly joyous on the soul level.
Life and freedom, or slow toxic living death? What do you choose? Me, I choose to walk light, aligned with and speaking my revolutionary truth and the Universal Truth, with clear no’s and absolute yesses.
